Want To Be Different
I see the world, I see how we live, how we live behind a screen,
For as long as I can remember I’ve always felt different, I never felt like I belonged in any one place, my soul always felt out of place. I found peace in writing, in filming and creating, I found peace in doing creative work. Creative work in the 21 century for me was being connected, it was being plugged into a machine, a camera, a computer, for many moons I thought it was the tools that defined and or restrained me, Stepping into a cafe and seeing everyone engrossed in their devices, everyone is using the latest tools and if not the latest then its operating from one of the oldest tools known to humanity, language, the ability to communicate. I want to unplug, because everyone is plugged in, I want to remain silent because everyone speaks, I want to quit writing because-
Inside my head I am different, I am my own creation, my own unique perspective, that doest make me better or worse. Being different always felt worse, it was filled with fear, of judgement from the outside world, but the reality was that the only judgement being passed on was my own , to myself, I was carrying the weight of the world, carrying their judgements, in doing that I wanted the good to be true, and that bad to be wrong, I wanted to paint a picture that I would be loved and not hated but that battle for love and hate was happening inside of me. I was fighting to right my wrongs and hoping my wrongs were right, time would pass me by and so consumed I was with where I stood against the next man, that I would be too far gone lost in thought to see my own two feet above the ground.
I see the world, I see how we live, how we live behind a screen,
How we’re all on TV, sharing, creating - some of us, are connected, some of us are not. Some jobs require our attention, some jobs do not. I look at what my work entails, the written word, images, video, it’s a culmination, of cinema, beauty, story, and of course, the written and spoken word.
For many it seemed like their dreams would pass them by, some clinging to their careers, falling in line with where they’re supposed to be and what they’re supposed to do, following the chain of command, scrapping by, working every day to prevent their families from falling apart, from wanting to live by the prettiest park, down by the river with a boat parked out front. And I would hope that no family home is vacant to the bone, hollow and silent, but home can be different of everyone.
Creating, working, everyone has their purpose, everyone wants attention, some from many others from few, I knew my immediate family was all that I needed but when you want to be different attention isn’t needed, simply being born is enough, a mind can create a place that allows us to survive, to look at the world in the ways we individually know best and that’s what makes us different from the rest.
I see the world, I see how we live, how we live behind a screen,